Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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