Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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