I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
