Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
