you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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