My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
