i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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