i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
