oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
