I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize