So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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