Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize