Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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