your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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