I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
