dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
