What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
