Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
