hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
