that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
