YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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