Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
