you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
