you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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