So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
pop tarts are not kleenex
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
