I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
