Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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