I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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