So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
