I hope mine doesn't look like that
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i've created a new STD.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
