i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
