Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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