I want to have your abortion
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You're like the curious george of whores
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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