Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
