i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So. Much. Porn.
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