I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
