Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
