we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
