He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
