You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
