He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
