when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
