Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
