shes about as inviting as chlamydia
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
