So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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