Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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