He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
