Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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