I wannas sexs uuuuu
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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