You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
