return my video game
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
