im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
