so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
