I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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