Got a toothbrush?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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