i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well I can't set my house on fire every night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
