Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
