dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
