My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
