I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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