she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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