if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
