he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
