IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
