This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
