New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
